‘DARK’ 2 hours in review. Pro-tip: Don’t buy.

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Can’t do it. I cannot complete this game. If there was a way to remove the 2 hours I spent with this game from my head, I would do it in a heartbeat. The voice acting is unbelievably bad with zero emotion. If you woke up as a vampire, wouldn’t you be freaking out a bit? Not Eric Bane. One of the most flat and shallow characters in this generation of gaming, it’s almost cringe worthy to know there will be some sort on monotone narration from him about everything. And I mean everything. “The throbbing in my head is pounding in my temples.” Wow, look at that thrilling dialogue.

Your base area is a nightclub, a standard cliche in the Vampire universe. Everyone there is a vampire. The bouncer is a drug addict who’s a little slow in the head, the bartender mixes you up a Bloody Mary “house style”, and the owner was gifted some freaky techno skills by being bitten. Eric can, well, do nothing.

The story concept is appalling. You need to drink the blood of the vampire who created you or you turn into a ghoul. Great. You have no idea who your attacker is, so the obvious conclusion is “Let’s look for clues and track this baddie down!” Oh no, wait. You mean I can just drink some other vampire’s blood if he’s been around for a few decades? Well that’s anticlimactic.

The game revolves around stealth, which is a great idea for a vampire game. However, it is so poorly executed that it becomes frustrating the moment you have to start trying to sneak. Which is the whole time. They try to give you powers that will help, except they also made them with severe draw backs. Sneaking requires you to go very slow and avoid making any noise. However, your character makes as much noise crawling as he does running. Areas where your path is blocked by broken glass requires you to use your teleport ability, but your character makes as much noise teleporting as you do crunching the glass. So that guard who was suspicious before? Yep, still gonna be suspicious. Which leads you to the next issue. The Combat. There is none. You can punch a guy only if they don’t know you are there. If they spot you, you have to run through a door which they can’t follow, wait for them to reset, and then follow them and punch em. So realistic.

This game is abysmal at best. If you want a good comparison, I would rather be stuck playing only Aliens: CM for the next 10 years than to finish playing this game.

Rating 1

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